Well, I've gotten back on the bandwagon and I'm going to update regularly (For once). This is partly because of three reasons. One: It's about time. Two: Project Wonderful said that they wouldn't create advertising space on here because I don't have enough posts, and it would be nice to make some money. Three: I actually have a regular reader (I know, I'm stunned too.) Anywhoo.
It may be noticable that I've combined what was previously chapters 3 and 4 into one part. I did this because neither chapter was perticularly long, and I would rather combine them than drag it out needlessly.
So, here goes.
Heartman was training back inside his mansion. Since his leg was broken he was focusing on his accuracy with firearms instead. His training was interrupted when his wristwatch alarm went off. He carefully placed the pistol he was practising with back inside the locked cabinet and hobbled over to the lift. After only a small amount of struggling with the stairs he reached Amy-chan’s bedroom. He knocked on the door politely.
“Amy-chan, it’s time for your practice session. Amy-chan? Answer me. Are you even listening in there?” Heartman placed his hand on the door handle, but before he could open it the doorbell rang.
“I’m just going to go answer that, but I expect you to be ready for practice as soon as I get back.” Heartman steadied himself on his crutch and made his way down the stairs, every other step punctuated with another ring of the doorbell.
“I’m coming! I’m coming!” He yelled. Just as he reached the bottom of the stairs he had to duck as the door burst open in a cloud of splinters. Within seconds he had recovered and drawn a weapon, only to find Amy-chan mere inches from his face.
“Hey boss. I'm back; I just went out for a bit. I hope you weren't worried about me. I brought back a friend, she needs some help."
"Amy-chan, where have you been? Why aren't you in your room? Why do you smell like oil? Did you say you brought a friend?"
"Yeah. She comes from, ummm, somewhere, and she is here to do, something. I weren't really listening. Hey where'd she go?"
"You brought a stranger to our base?" Heartman asked with a certain degree of incredulity, to which Amy-chan replied with a shrug. Heartman sighed to himself before asking, “Okay, so what does she look like?”
“She’s about four-foot six, with hair down to her ankles. Oh, and she’s wearing some kind’ve purple cat-suit. Why is it called a cat-suit? I mean, it doesn’t look anything like a cat and I should know.”
Heartman ignored Amy-chan’s incessant rambling and made his way to his personal command centre. In other words, the living room. He started up the computer he had been using before and started a bio-scan of his mansion. The bio-scan showed a person at the computer, which was tagged as Heartman. It showed another person inside Amy-chan’s bedroom, which was tagged as Amy-chan. It also showed a large, unrecognised bio-signature right next to her. Heartman grabbed a stun gun from his desk drawer and made his way back up the stairs, cursing as he did so.
He stopped outside Amy-chan’s room. The door had been left ajar. Heartman carefully pushed it open with his free hand and pointed the stun gun at where the bio-signature had been recorded.
“Whatever you are, stop what you’re doing.”
There was nothing there. Nothing untoward anyway. What was there was Amy-chan rummaging about in a large pink fridge.
"Amy-chan, why are you looking in your fridge when there‘s an intruder? Why is there a fridge in your room? Why does your fridge show up on my bio-scans?"
"Cos I'm hungry, in case I get hungry, and cos I don't get hungry often." She replied. Heartman put his stun gun in his pocket and hobbled over to the fridge, only to recoil in disgust at what he saw. The fridge was packed full of food, but what was in there had clearly expired some time before. Covering the mess was a weird pink mould.
“Do you really eat that stuff Amy-chan?”
“Of course not, why do you think the mould started growing? I named it Eric. Kinda cute isn’t it?”
“No, it’s kinda gross is what it is. But that’s not the issue here. You should be helping me find the intruder.”
“Oh I already know where she is. She probably went to the weapons lab to get bits for her thingy that I might’ve kinda sort’ve broke.”
“You let an intruder into our weapons lab? That’s it, I’m cutting off your anime allowance.”
“WHAT? Oh come on, that’s hardly fair!”
“I don’t want to hear it. Now come on, we have to get to the weapons lab before that intruder figures out how to activate anything.” Heartman said as he grabbed Amy-chan by the arm and shoved her through the door. With her assistance they got to the weapons lab in a relatively short amount of time. They snuck up to the door as quietly as they could which, being ninjas, was pretty darn quiet.
“Amy-chan, I’ll distract her while you find a weapon to take her down with. If at all possible I want to capture her alive.”
Amy-chan nodded and opened the laboratory door quietly. Much to her surprise, the wall directly next to her exploded for no immediately apparent reason. After standing stock-still for approximately one second, she closed the door again and turned the Heartman with a shocked expression.
“Uh, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I’ve found a weapon that could take her down. The bad news is, she found it first.”
Heartman took a step forward, which was rather a fortunate thing to do, since a blue laser beam cut through the air where he had previously been standing.
“Damn it! How do you control this infernal contrivance?” The unmistakable voice of Princess Rhukdhuiosh shouted.
“Amy-chan, what weapon exactly did she find?” Heartman whispered as another section of wall behind him was atomised.
“The mecha.”
“We have a mecha?”
“No, she has a mecha. Keep up.”
“How long until it runs out of ammo?” Heartman attempted to ask, but was drowned out by the sound of a very loud chainsaw starting up. “On second thought, never mind. Just go in and get another weapon.”
Amy-chan nodded before entering the heavily damaged room. She scanned the room with a single glance, noting the position of tables, desks and her stacks of spare parts. She instinctively crouched into a suitable bounding position and began making her way quietly to where her latest project was kept. Unfortunately, the Princess had already figured out how to use the mecha’s scanning systems.
“I must extend my thanks to you. If you hadn’t dragged me here I would never have found this nice little toy of yours. Now, hold still while I repay the favour.” She said as she aimed the mecha’s largest gun at Amy-chan. With her cat-like reflexes Amy-chan managed to leap out of the way just in time, but the ground between her and her objective had been reduced to molten slag, which wouldn’t cool for some time.
Amy-chan switched tactics and darted forwards, hoping to get in close and disable the machine before Rhukdhuiosh figured out the close-combat protocols.
She was too late. The mecha slammed its large fist into the ground just as Amy-chan landed, the shockwaves knocking her off-balance. Within the time it took her to regain her footing, Rhukdhuiosh had brought her foot round to deliver a kick directly to Amy-chan’s torso. With the wind thoroughly kicked out of her, Amy-chan went flying across the weapons lab, smashing a table in twain upon her landing. She didn’t get back up.
Rhukdhuiosh, having figured out much of the machine’s controls, stomped towards the immobile catgirl and powered up the chainsaw.
“I’m going to enjoy this immensely, by the way.”
“I’m afraid I have to disagree with that assessment.” Heartman yelled as he landed on the mecha’s domed cockpit. He used the momentum from his leap to bring his katana down in front of the Princess, slicing the mecha’s control panels with ease. He jumped away just as the sparks ignited, causing the entire machine to explode violently.
Heartman landed heavily some way away. “Damn, I wanted her alive.” He cursed under his breath as pieces of mech landed around him, among them the charred body of Rhukdhuiosh. Heartman clambered to his feet, using his sword-sheath as an impromptu walking stick, and hobbled over to her. As he reached down to roll her face-up, her hand gripped his throat tightly. Heartman looked on with shock as her flesh de-charred itself.
“Guess what, my species heals very quickly, as does my outfit.” She said as she stood up. True enough, her clothing had re-knitted itself back to its’ former purply glory.
“It’s made from a rare plant from my home world. It’s a really nice place, nothing like this swampy little mud-ball of yours. Still, it should make a nice slave raising planet, with your people as the first batch. I’m going to give you just one warning. Stay out of my way, or I’ll kill you. Got that?”
Heartman answered by way of spitting in her eye. The Princess tightened her grip, taking delight in the strange shade of purple his face was turning.
And that’s when Amy-chan hit her over the head with a frying pan.
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